There are two things I struggle with as a writer. The first is writing a great opening sentence, and second, is creating character descriptions that bring characters to life in ways that intrigue and engage the reader. When those things are not present in books that I read, I'll stop reading. So, when I write, I want to be sure that my opening hook will grab the reader and make them want to turn the page. I haven't always succeeded but those two things are always on my mind when I write.
When I was an author wannabe, people often told me, "If you want to write, read, read, read!" The reason didn't hit me until much later when I realized that the answers to my writing questions could almost always be found among the pages of my favorite books; not stated specifically as "do this" or "do that," but rather in the way the story was written to capture my interest. That's when it dawned on me that many of the things I needed to know about writing, were all around me in the books on my bookshelves, those on my coffee table and the stack beside my bed, waiting to be read. I only had to pay attention.
To capture the interest of a reader and get them to turn the page, you need a great opening sentence. When I looked at the openings from recently read novels and those I read years ago that I keep rereading, I found their beginnings proved my point; they grabbed me from the first sentence. Here are a few samples:
"Of the three people standing on stage, only two of them were people!" The Plus One, by Sarah Archer, 2019
"Lavinia sat awkwardly with Mr. Grogan in the parlor of her family's home on Oglethorpe Square on a sweltering Sunday afternoon." Between The Sky And The Sea, by Lisa Williams Kline, 2023
"Franz Stigler buried his hands in the pockets of his long, tattered wool coat as he shuffled along the streets of the small, bombed-out city." A Higher Call, by Adam Makos, 2012
"The woman's face burned, glowed as thought illuminated by a shaft of sunlight falling from a high cathedral window." The Bastard: American Bicentenial Series Book 1, by John Jakes, 1975
When you examine each of these opening sentences, you find they all have one thing in common; they all fill a readers mind with immediate questions that can only be answered by turning the page.
In The Plus One, we have three people but only two are people! What? How can that be? Who or what is the third person? What are they doing on a stage?
Why is Lavinia, in Between The Sky and The Sea, awkward in the presense of Mr. Grogan? Is she afraid of him. Who is Mr. Grogan to her? For that matter, who is Lavinia?
What city is Franz Stigler in when A Higher Call, opens? It's been bombed but by whom? What war is this? Where is Franz going? Who is Franz Stigler?
And in The American Bicentennial Series, Book 1, The Bastard, who is the woman with the burned face? Who did this to her? Where is she? Will she live or die?
Examples like those above make me re-examine my opening sentences for things left unsaid. In the books I have written, some of the opening sentences work and some could use improvement. What about the opening sentences in your stories? Can you say the same about them? If not, are there ways to make them more interesting? Examining the opening sentences in the books I love have really made a difference in the way I start stories.
Writing character descriptions that intrigue are an ongoing challenge. The ability to combine physical and emotional attributes that convey the essence of a character in an interesting way, is a real skill. Once again, I turn to authors who, in my opinion, have mastered this skill.
Let's take a look a a description found on page 138-139 in Captains And The Kings, by Taylor Caldwell, a revered writer from long ago.
Taylor Caldwell could have described the character like this: Mr. Healey's daughter, no more than twenty, wore a wine colored gown with jewels at her neck and wrists. Long brown curls brushed her shoulders enhancing her large brown eyes. When she smiled, her dimpled cheeks glowed.
Instead, she describes the character this way: "She was no more than twenty, if even of those years, and had a lovely figure which her rich gown of wine-red merino draped over enormous hoops could not entirely hide. There were deep cascades of weblike lace about her throat and wrists, and the throat and wrists were remarkable for their whiteness and delicacy, and were jeweled. Her pointed face glowed and dimpled, and her cheeks were the color of apricots and so were her lips which parted in a smile of great delight, showing her square white teeth. Her nose was impertinent, her eyes extraordinairly brown, with shadowy long lashes. Glossy ringlets of brown hair tumbled to her shoulders. She had a look of intense life and gusto..."
Whew! That's a lot but it really gives us a sense of Mr. Healey's daughter's looks and her personality. You may not like descriptions this long and involved, but there's much you can learn from it that the shorter description didn't tell us.
"...if even those years," gives us a sense that she looks younger than her age.
"...and had a lovely figure," not quite hidden by her hooped skirts, enhances the time period of the story through her costume.
"....her throat and wrists were remarkable for their whiteness and delicacy..." Conjures up an image of a very delicate, perhaps spoiled, white skinned beauty, one who didn't let the sun touch her skin.
"...her lips were parted in a smile of great delight...Here we get a sense that she's friendly and happy to meet whomever her father is introducting her to.
"She had a look of intense life and gusto..." Personality traits that make her intriguing, not just a pretty face.
My goal is not to write long character descriptions, but to gleen from authors I admire, like Taylor Caldwell, the ability to infuse my descriptions with subtle intriquing attributes that tell more than age and physical description.
Make a list of opening sentences that intrique you. Copy down descriptive attributes that bring characters to life. Then, incorporate all you've learned into your next story.
I hope this post makes you think about what your are reading and writing in a more interesting way.
What have you learned from your favorite authors and the books you have read?
Happy writing!
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Contact:
email: sandra@arliebooks.com Website: sandra@sandrawarren.com
